


Friendship For Plot Reasons

by infp_tuna



Category: Homestuck
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Friendship, Gen, Getting to Know Each Other, Hal being Hal, Not Epilogue Compliant, hes doing his best I swear, rose being rose
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-14
Updated: 2020-11-14
Packaged: 2021-03-09 01:28:41
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,981
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27496468
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/infp_tuna/pseuds/infp_tuna
Summary: You had heard about Rose’s girlfriend; knew of her in the vaguest sense. You saw her face briefly in dream bubbles and in person when the meteor had crashed (quite literally) your game session. But after that? Too busy fighting a misogynistic lizard with anger issues to sit in a circle and introduce yourself to everyone else. And that was pretty okay at the time; until it wasn’t.—Your name is Dirk. And you are awkward as shit around new people.
Relationships: Kanaya Maryam & Dirk Strider
Kudos: 28





	Friendship For Plot Reasons

**Author's Note:**

> I started writing this before I read the retcon or even [S] GAME OVER, so don’t mind me fucking around with potential friend dynamics b/c I can.
> 
> Formatting the pesterlogs is Hell and I deserve a mental raise. Shout out to @ectobaby for saving my ass with it, Theo you legend.
> 
> Enjoy this mlm/wlw friendship fic.

Your name is Dirk. And you are awkward as shit around new people.  
  


Of course, that’s pretty obvious to anyone with eyes and the ability to connect two dots of logic. Which makes you question why you agreed to the current situation you are in. 

“Dirk, please pass me the fabric by your hand?” Kanaya asks, not looking up from her pattern. You nod and oblige.

You had heard about Rose’s girlfriend; knew of her in the vaguest sense. You saw her face briefly in dream bubbles and in person when the meteor had crashed (quite literally into) your game session. But after that? Too busy fighting a misogynistic lizard with anger issues to sit in a circle and introduce yourself to everyone else. And that was pretty okay at the time; until it wasn’t.

You and Roxy finally got to meet your parents/siblings. You were awkward then too, but it was far easier to hide behind Roxy’s wall of pure excitement, nodding at words directed toward you until you could find a good opportunity to escape. Your bro- sorry, Dave -had the same blank expression you’d seen him with last time. Like he was trying to win a competition with a rock. He exuded cool though. Roxy’s mom, Rose, was far more amicable and talkative, seemingly speaking for both of them. She eyed you curiously the entire time. It was a fucking relief though when the loud as shit troll with the little nubby horns came over and started yelling. Wow he- He was really fucking loud, wasn’t he?

There was an adjustment period now, getting used to all these new people and their colorful personalities. The easiest person to be around by far was Rose; she sounded like her alternate self’s book dialogue. Which you guess made sense. You often hung around her, who in turn hung out with Kanaya. She’s cool, all glowy like a glow stick and all. But that didn’t mean you wanted to be left alone with her for an unprecedented amount of time.

Where the _hell_ did Rose run off to? She said she’d be back in a minute about twenty minutes ago. Rose that’s nineteen minutes too long; you had left a poor, awkward robotics enthusiast with a lesbian, vampire seamstress. The inhumanity of it all. 

Kanaya continued her project, seemingly unaware of your inner turmoil. You watched her draft her pattern, sticking pins in place, laying the fabric on a mannequin to get it right. It was fascinating to watch, really. You’d tried in the past to make your own clothes. It didn’t end well and you now understand why thimbles existed.

Aaaaand more silence. You could make an educated guess Kanaya didn’t mind silence when she worked, but you also remembered who she’s been living with for the past three years. Was silence actually welcomed? Or was she just. Putting up with it because neither of you knew each other too well? Rose where the fresh fuck are you? You could only spiral into so many trains of thought.

“...rk? Dirk!” 

You snap out of said spiral of bullshit and look to see Kanaya has her gaze turned to you. You’d almost say she looked concerned.

“Yeah?”

“You didn’t hear what I said, did you?”

You shrug.

Kanaya merely sighs. “Could you hand me those pins?” You pass those over. “Thank you.” She goes back to sewing, quiet for a moment. Then, “I have a sneaking suspicion you are not comfortable around me, are you?”

Well, that took you by surprise. “I… wouldn’t say that.”

She gave you this look that told you that she did not believe you in the slightest. Probably some sort of ‘motherly instinct,’ but you couldn’t say for sure.

“It’s hard to explain.” Maybe she’ll drop it.

“Try me.”

Well shit. You shuffle around in your seat, trying to make it not look as nervous as it is. “I’m not used to talking to anyone. It’s nothing against you or even any of the others.” You just don’t get much practice talking living in a small apartment in the middle of an ocean-laden planet with only a snarky AI constructed from your own mind for conversation. Not that you’d say that out loud. Hal would never let you live it down.

Kanaya nods though. “Most trolls grow up like that as well.”

Now that you perk up at. “Really?”

“Mhm. We’re not alone, usually. We had our lusii and Trollian, but we were all pretty isolated. Most of us didn’t even see each other until we entered our respective game. It can be a tad nerve-wracking.” She smiles, seeming to relive a memory. “In short, I get it.”

Huh. She did. You nod, wondering what else she understood.

“Well, when ya put it like that,” you drawl out. “It seems pretty obvious.”

Kanaya’s smile morphs into a grin. “Cultural differences are to be expected, I wouldn’t call it blatantly obvious.”

“No, no, it should. Like, besides the pants shittingly terrifying amount of violence y’all seemed to live through, trolls and humans kinda have the same needs. Like, friends. Friends are important. Friends are super important; I mean I don’t think I woulda survived as long as I did without mine. I woulda been stuck talking to _myself_ and that’s an echo chamber of bad ideas. Like, basic human needs include interaction, and it sounds the same with trolls because without it we’d have all gone insane. There is a reason why that shit’s on Maslow’s hierarchy.”

You get to the end of your, admittedly on topic, tirade, and see Kanaya has her eyes on you. Shit, is that a bored look? No, it’s not. It’s patient. Curious, even. Like she was seeing you for the first time again and actually understood you. 

“Fascinating,” is all she says. There’s a softness on her face.

Oh. Huh. 

You still have a feeling Hal is going to use this all against you

—

timeausTestified timaeusTestified [TT] began pestering timaeusTestified timaeusTestified [TT]

TT: So. What did we learn today?

TT: This isn’t the time for your cryptic AI shit, what do you want?

TT: Kanaya. What did you learn?

TT: Well culturally, trolls are just as fucked as humans are, which is reassuring.

TT: Dirk. The other, other thing.

TT: Can you see me rolling my eyes? I’m rolling my eyes at you, Hal.

TT: Yes I can see it.

TT: So then.

TT: There’s not much to say, really.

TT: I got to know about troll culture and Kanaya. Only I learned the most basic of information, so there's nothing to write home about.

TT: I’d shake you if I had arms. Can it be arranged? Arms, I mean.

TT: I’ll put a pin in that. Oh wait, that pin didn’t stick. Imagine that.

TT: Dirk I swear to god.

TT: Alright, alright.

TT: It's reassuring to hear feelings you’ve had all your life are okay? That need to be around someone, even when you’re terrified to start a real relationship. That you have someone else to potentially talk to about those feelings. Rather than do what you’ve always done and not say anything.

TTB: Not that you’ll be an open book or anything.

TT: Well no, of course not. Who am I, John?

TT: You are not John.

TT: Dirk, we’ve both come a long way. Despite the fact that I am superior in every way, I can at least acknowledge that this is a very good first step for both you and myself.

TT: I mean, sure; we’re about as socially competent as a vampire bat on speed. But now we have the opportunity to improve. To understand people better. And not fuck up in the most glorious, dramatic ways imaginable.

TT:...are you actually complimenting me?

TT: That’s what stuck out to you?

TT: Jesus you’re hopeless.

timeausTestified timaeusTestified [TT] ceased pestering timaeusTestified timaeusTestified [TT]

TT: I’m going to regret saying this but, you’ve come a long way too, Hal.

timeausTestified timaeusTestified [TT] began pestering timaeusTestified timaeusTestified [TT]

TT: 

timeausTestified timaeusTestified [TT] ceased pestering timaeusTestified timaeusTestified [TT]

TT: Asshole.

timeausTestified timaeusTestified [TT] ceased pesteringtimaeusTestified [TT]

—

A few weeks in and you found yourself by a pool. In the sun. Forgoing the need for sunscreen because your skin has never needed it and you hate the texture. Rose had invited you over, again, and once more had evacuated the vicinity and left you at the mercy of her wife.

“Does she have a reason to keep doing this?” you ask Kanaya. 

She looks over at you, removing her sunglasses. “The impression I’m getting is she thinks she is doing both of us a favor.”

“A favor,” you deadpan. She nods. “Does she think she’s doing it in the right way?”

“Do you?”

You frown. “Forcing me into doing something has never been a good way to make me _do_ anything.”

Kanaya actually smirks. “Like father, like daughter.”

As far as you’re aware, trolls don’t have the same concept of family as humans. She learned fast. 

The next week, you’re encouraged (read: dragged by Roxy) to an outing with your immediate family. And their significant others, of course. This time you just sit by Kanaya before Rose can insist she has to sit next to Dave to kick his ass at tic tac toe.

“If I remember correctly, Sylphs and Prince are inverses of each other,” Kanaya remarks, taking a long sip of bright green liquid. Was it alcohol? Blood? Who knew.

“Are they?” You honestly don’t know. Hal chimes in the corner of your vision with, They are. “That would explain why she’s trying to set us up as friends.”

Kanaya nods. “Plot reasons.”

“Yeah, plot reasons.”

Roxy and Calliope drag both of your attentions back to the group to play a game of ‘ultimate tic tac toe.’ By the end, none of you know what’s going on and you're fairly certain Karkat is going to try and behead Dave. It’s a fairly nice night.

—

timeausTestified timaeusTestified [TT] began pestering grimAuxiliatrix grimAuxiliatrix [GA]

GA: I See Rose Gave You My Chumhandle

TT: She forced it into my phone, opened it, and ran. I’m more impressed than upset right now.

GA: What Do You Suppose She Wants Us To Chat About

TT: I’m not really sure.

TT: I don’t really know when talking to you became my go to in social situations.

GA: Myself Or Roxy

TT: Or Roxy.

GA: Or John

GA: Should I Be Reading Into That

TT: No

TT: Yes

GA: Ah Hal I Presume

TT: Presumed correctly.

TT: Now shoo.

TT: BP

TT: Anyway.

GA: She Really Is Insistent On You Finding Or Talking Companions Isnt She

TT: Like you said, plot reasons. Which now, looking back, ironic.

GA: But Fitting

TT: Terribly so.

You actually take a second you consider why Rose actually did come over. A hunch, she had said, that you were spiraling down a path of no return. Now, knowing how you are, that could mean a lot of things. From a month of sitting curled up in bed with one singular project to, oh, complete and utter world domination. More likely the depression slump.

TT: What were you doing?

GA: I Was Simply Starting A New Piece

TT: Didn’t you just finish one?

GA: If Youre Thinking Back To The First Time We Talked Ive Actually Finished Three Since Then

TT: Wait really?

TT: Actually, why am I surprised?

GA: I Am One Helluva Good Seamstress

TT: My gut says you picked up ‘helluva’ from Dave.

GA: Indeed

TT: So then. What are you working on now?

—

So, you could now say with full confidence, that you had befriended Kanaya.

You would like to say you have no idea how it happened, but you do. You know exactly how this happened. And quite frankly, you’re fine with that. 

**Author's Note:**

> I gave up near the end there, but this is now free to the world. Wahoo
> 
> Come bug me at @infp-tuna and @tuna-creates on Tumblr, as well as @tunadraws on Instagram


End file.
